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Is Love a Feeling? The Holy Bible on the Nature of Love

Is love a feeling?

What do you think?

__ Yes, love is a feeling.

__ No, love is not a feeling.

The Correct Answer Is …

“Yes”!

The correct answer is “yes” to both the question “Is love a feeling?” and the question “Is love not a feeling?”  Love involves the feelings and affections, so in that sense love is a feeling.  However, love is not merely a feeling, but it involves the will and the actions.

Love Involves Self-Sacrificial and Willful Action

Many in the world assume that love is just a sappy sentimental feeling, or that love is a teenage boy having his heart flutter when a pretty girl looks at him.  This is a very Biblically insufficient definition of love.  How does God love?

John 3:16 For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life.

God’s love does not just involve sappy sentimentalism.  The Father’s love led Him to give to rebellious sinners what was most valuable to Him–His own Son. His love involved self-sacrificial action.  Believers must show this same kind of self-sacrificial, acting, willing, giving love:

John 15:13 Greater love hath no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends.

This sort of love is required in other relationships as well:

Eph. 5:25 Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it;

Clearly, love is not just an emotional high, but it involves self-sacrifice, action, giving oneself to the loved one at tremendous cost.

Love Also Includes the Feelings or Affections

At the same time, love is not the self-sacrifice of a drone or robot that follows a computer program to blow itself up and save someone else.  Love includes the feelings and affections.  We do not love as robots, but as people who have affections and passions. God wants us to love Him with all that we are–that includes our minds and wills, but it also includes our affections or feelings.

God’s love for His people involves His affections in whatever sense He has passions or affections:

Hos. 11:8 How shall I give thee up, Ephraim? how shall I deliver thee, Israel? how shall I make thee as Admah? how shall I set thee as Zeboim? mine heart is turned within me, my repentings are kindled together.
Hos. 11:9 I will not execute the fierceness of mine anger, I will not return to destroy Ephraim: for I am God, and not man; the Holy One in the midst of thee: and I will not enter into the city.

Zeph. 3:17 The LORD thy God in the midst of thee is mighty; he will save, he will rejoice over thee with joy; he will rest in his love, he will joy over thee with singing.

Human love between spouses involves the affections or passions.  In the Song of Solomon the husband and wife–who are to be patterns for marital relationships–are madly in love with each other and passions and affections are coming out all over the place.

Our love for what is of God also involves our passions or affections. Paul said: “I delight in the law of God after the inward man” (Romans 7:22).  “Delight” is a feeling or affection. The Messiah said, as a pattern for all the godly:  “I delight to do thy will, O my God: yea, thy law is within my heart” (Psalm 40:8).

We could multiple examples for all other sorts of love that are dealt with in Scripture.

So is love a feeling?  Yes, it is–God did not make us robots.  Is love merely a feeling, or only a feeling, or primarily a feeling? No–it is much more than that, but it involves self-sacrificial action.

So in all your relationships–most importantly with God and secondarily with others–love like God does.  Give yourself self-sacrificially to the Lord and to others.  That is the most important thing–but don’t be a robot either.  God wants you to love with all that you are, and that includes your feelings or affections.

TDR

The Required Rejection of Dismayal

The English, “dismayed,” is found only in the Old Testament, and 31 times in the King James Version.  The Hebrew word is hay’tawt (my transliteration), which is found 57 times in the Old Testament, the following the first five usages:

Deuteronomy 1:21, “Behold, the LORD thy God hath set the land before thee: go up and possess it, as the LORD God of thy fathers hath said unto thee; fear not, neither be discouraged.”

Deuteronomy 31:8, “And the LORD, he it is that doth go before thee; he will be with thee, he will not fail thee, neither forsake thee: fear not, neither be dismayed.”
Joshua 1:9, “Have not I commanded thee? Be strong and of a good courage; be not afraid, neither be thou dismayed: for the LORD thy God is with thee whithersoever thou goest.”
Joshua 8:1, “And the LORD said unto Joshua, Fear not, neither be thou dismayed: take all the people of war with thee, and arise, go up to Ai: see, I have given into thy hand the king of Ai, and his people, and his city, and his land.”
Joshua 10:25, “And Joshua said unto them, Fear not, nor be dismayed, be strong and of good courage: for thus shall the LORD do to all your enemies against whom ye fight.”
In all five, the verb, hay’tawt, is a command:  neither be discouraged, neither be dismayed, neither be thou dismayed, neither be thou dismayed, and nor be dismayed.
Of all the commands in these familiar passages, “be not dismayed,” I contend, is the one that slips through the cracks.  What gets attention are those such as, “go,” “possess,” “fear not,” “be strong,” “be not afraid,” and “be of a good courage.”
God doesn’t want His people to be dismayed.  It’s not an English word we use any more.  It is “to be broken,” “panicking,” “shattered,” or “disheartened.”  Dismayal relates to attitude, outlook, or disposition.  God requires particular dispositions, which does mean that we can understand them.  We must say, no, to being dismayed, and we can know what that is.  We can’t play dumb on dismayal.
What is the underlying cure for dismay, what buoys against that sinking?  God sets the land before you.  God is with you.  God will not fail or forsake you.  God has given you the king, his people, and his hand.  God will put his foot on the necks of His enemies.  It is God.
When a professing believer is dismayed, it reflects on His belief.  What does He believe about God?  How can he remain dismayed when God is God, God is Who He is, God has done, does, and will do what He does and will do.  God wants an attitude, a disposition, that matches the truth.  These are affections. A true, governing knowledge of God affects our spirit.  Jonathan Edwards in his Treatise on the Religious Affections wrote that the “affections of the soul” move someone out of a state of indifference.  He writes:

The Knowledge which the Saints have of God’s Beauty and Glory in this World, and those holy Affections that arise from it, are of the same Nature and Kind with what the Saints are the Subjects of in Heaven, differing only in Degree and Circumstances. . . . Those Affections that are truly Holy, are primarily founded on the Loveliness of the moral Excellency of divine Things. Or, (to express it otherwise) a Love to divine Things for the Beauty and Sweetness of their moral Excellency, is the first Beginning and Spring of all holy Affections. . . . That Religion which God requires, and will accept, don’t consist in weak, dull and lifeless Wouldings, raising us but a little above a State of Indifference: God, in his Word, greatly insists upon it, that we be in good Earnest, fervent is Spirit, and our Hearts vigorously engaged in Religion.

This is a person, who is not dismayed.  He doesn’t need to be fired up.  He doesn’t need short-term, temporal, fleshly gratification to motivate him.
Edwards uses the word, “Wouldings,” “dully and lifeless Wouldings.”  They are not can or will, but would.  They would, but they won’t.  They would do it, but they can’t get themselves to do it, because their disposition is so dull and lifeless.  God isn’t a good enough reason.
Not being dismayed closely relates in a positive way to the joy in heaven, the joy in the Trinity that the Triune God wants men to share.  Live in light of eternity.  God requires this too.

AUTHORS OF THE BLOG

  • Kent Brandenburg
  • Thomas Ross

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