You either are in the midst of a science fair project in your home or you remember one. Parents, excuse me, young people are presently scurrying to find their projects for their kids, scratch that, for their fair. I just want to be nice, so I’m going to give you one evolutionist science fair project. I did think of a second, but it would require licking saliva contaminated by strept throat off of a petri dish. You can show how that bacteria evolves.

The first idea is the scientific dating method experiment. To be good scientists, we want to make sure that we are accurate in our scientific method. First, find a fossil. Second, chip off a small, insignificant piece of that fossil. Third, obtain a heat source that will burn at very high heat. Fourth, get a radiation counter. Fifth, burn the piece of fossil. Sixth, use the counter to detect electrons from carbon-14 turning into nitrogen. Seventh, make a ratio of carbon-12 remaining to carbon-14 lost. Eighth, multiply the ratio by 5,730 years. Ninth, build a time machine. Tenth, ride your time machine to the year your fossil died. Eleventh, look either for the recently dead animal or kill the living one so it can start becoming a fossil. Twelfth, take the time machine back to the present time period. If you can’t build a time machine, then just skip to here: Practice saying how old your fossil is with a straight face. Now work on laughing or smirking at anyone who questions you. Congratulations, you’re ready now for The Evolutionist Science Fair.