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For men to take their role back, they must recognize and understand the male role. It proceeds from God. God gave distinct roles to both the man and the woman. His will is for men and women to fulfill those roles, to do them. Male and female created He them and delineated what that meant. They’re not the same. Both men and women lose out when they are not having and then accomplishing their peculiar roles.
In general, men do not take the female role. That is the most unpopular between the two roles. Mr. Mom is mainly fiction. It happens for sure, but in general men do not take it. Men can try taking the female role, but they can’t actually do it. They fail at it. Women fail at the male role too, but that in general does not hold them back from wanting it and trying it.
Two Ways Men Lose Their Role
First Way
When men lose their role, it looks at least two different ways. One is that a woman takes the male role and then the man just doesn’t have a role anymore. In this situation, the woman takes the male role and she still has the female role too. She can’t do both, but she tries. He doesn’t have a role anymore, which turns him into a kind of wandering nomad of a person (or worse). I see this all over.
Usually with number one, that husband must do some male role stuff. She almost never can do it all. The man might mow the lawn. He might have a masculine job that requires a man to do it. And he still has to do that, despite not having the role at home. For that reason, a lot of men, even if they hate their job, still like doing it, because it is the only place left to be a sort of a man. They know they’ve got to go home at night and return to that awkward reality.
Instead of an actual male role, men without one often impersonate the male role with apparent manly hobbies and interests. Maybe they own and tinker on a car or truck. Perhaps they war on a screen with a video game. Some might like guns. The same and others could listen to heavy metal or drop hard-edged foul words that mark toughness. Also, they could grow a beard, as facial hair is a simple way to symbolize something that in fact isn’t reality.
Second Way
Two is that the man and the woman attempt to share the male role. Neither has it, so they are trying to split the male role in two, while she keeps the female one. Usually with this, he attempts to “help” her with the female role, this becoming the definition of being a good “husband.” Most would call this egalitarianism. Both man and woman attempt to keep the requirements of the male role. This brings confusion and frequently fighting, because it is tough to divide this responsibility. Both blame the other for not getting something done.
In fact, man and woman can’t share the male role and it still be the male role. That means the man is just accepting not having his role to some varying degree. It is a measure of capitulation or even a negotiation. He’s negotiating the percentage, attempting to keep most of it, while abdicating part of it. The man can’t in fact have his own role without giving part of it as an aspect of the negotiation.
The Main Fear or Opposition Stopping Retrieval of Male Role
First Fear or Opposition
Not Physical Strength
Men can take their role back, but it will take cooperation among men in society. A majority of men must agree that they have a role and then resolve to take it back. What is the main fear for starting this and then continuing it? First, is the fear of women themselves. Fear of women, one could say, partly at least defines emasculation. I’m not saying that men are afraid of women in a physical sense, that women might beat them up. It is a different kind of opposition that women supply. Men won’t retrieve their role through physical intimidation, even if they can do that.
The opposition of women to men isn’t imposing their physical strength. They’re weaker than men. By saying that, I don’t mean that you won’t find circumstances where some women are stronger than some men. But by such a magnitude are men physically stronger than women, their superior strength is true in general. Men don’t need to, neither should they, dictate to women through threat of physical harm. The strength of a man to withstand female opposition is more than physical strength, but spiritual and psychological.
Psychological Strength
By psychological strength, I mean courage, which includes a strength of will. Woman exert strong psychological opposition to men more in a form of manipulation. Women wield indirect, verbal, or relational tactics, such as criticism, nagging, withholding affection, and emotional manipulation. Women can pull levers of power over men through various threats. The Old Testament book of Proverbs talks about some of these that can control men. Men reading this for sure know what I’m saying.
A woman can contribute to a man’s feeling of inadequacy by what she says and how she treats him. She can use gossip, inuendo, reputation destruction, and undermine his social standing. A woman might withhold affection, validation, or reassurance in order to signal disapproval or gain leverage. A man’s emotional state or feeling of happiness depends on her approval. When a man and a woman do not get along, this becomes a detriment to other things he does and his ability to lead others. If his wife doesn’t like him or he can’t succeed there, then maybe others should not trust him elsewhere.
It is important to a man that he can make a woman happy. He judges his own success by whether she thinks highly of his ability with her. A woman can hold back her support, so that she can have her way. When she doesn’t get what she wants, she can make life more difficult for him. Men can’t just have their role back. They must have the agreement of women, who are willing to acquiesce to male headship.
Second Fear or Opposition
Difficult enough for men is persuading women of the male role. Second, they also must deal with men who will ally themselves with women against that. In order to gain and keep favor with women, which men most often want, they collaborate with women against men. Men are not just afraid of women then. They’re also afraid of men who ally with women against recapturing the male role. Men will easily throw other men under the bus. They want to have the good favor of women and they gladly join women.
You’ve got men too today at a very high percentage that do not advocate for a male role. That’s going to be another issue in this quest to bring back the male role. Those men aren’t going to agree with it. The women who do believe in two separate roles for men and women will also have to oppose the women who don’t. Many women either generally hate men or they don’t look at them highly. They’re a lost cause in this. Those women will also use female tactics against women who don’t take their position on the male and female roles. They might be worse on those women than they are on men.
An Uphill Battle
What I’m describing is a big uphill battle. I like to call this, putting the male role back in the bottle again. You’ve seen the ship-in-a-bottle. It looks impossible to put a ship in a bottle. There’s a trick to it. Getting the male role back in the bottle also looks impossible and there is no trick to it.
You’ve watched men sit and support feminism and female equality in the public. Maybe you remember the White Dudes for Harris from the 2024 election? There were also Dads for Kamala and Men for Harris. Those are probably extremes, but even professing conservatives have abdicated on this position. They’ve surrendered on this issue so just adjust to the new world of egalitarianism. To them, it’s just better to keep their head down and try to do the best they can with what they’ve got.
To get the strength to regain the male role against the opposition I’m describing, men will need to believe in it. It would help if women could support it, believe in it too. A lot of men want what I’m talking about, but a strong ground swell needs to occur starting especially in churches that believe the Word of God.
More to Come